ReZoom

In this age of 100-plus television channels, product placement and digital recording devices, there’s no reason to sit through a series of commercials anymore (unless you’re watching the Super Bowl). And while no one is complaining, it seems a shame that the Golden Age of Television Commercials is a thing of the past. Take a look at these seven memorable TV catchphrases to relive the good times:

1. He likes it! Hey Mikey!

(Life Cereal, 1972) Life Cereal first aired this commercial in 1972 and ran it until 1984, when the film presumably threatened to disintegrate through overuse. As the commercial goes, two boys are eyeing a bowl of Life suspiciously (It’s supposed to be good for you”) and daring each other to try it. Finally, they decide to offer it to little brother Mikey, who “hates everything.” Mikey, without saying a word, dives in, eliciting this world famous response.

“Mikey” became so famous, in fact, that in the late 1970’s he was rumored to have died from a stomach explosion after mixing Pop Rocks and Coca-Cola. This urban legend was put to rest, however, when it was found out that the actor who played Mikey was alive and well and working as an advertising account manager at a radio station in New York.

2. You’re soaking in it!

(Palmolive, 1966) Madge the Manicurist uttered this famous catchphrase when one of her rough-handed customers expressed disbelief at the idea of using a dishwashing liquid to soften hands. Created in 1966 by the Ted Bates Advertising Agency, wisecracking Madge was played by Jan Miner for 27 years. Miner was so committed to the role that she insisted on voicing her lines for the French, German and Italian versions of the commercials, pronouncing each word phonetically.

3. Please, don’t squeeze the Charmin.

(Charmin, 1964) Supermarket manager Mr. Whipple browbeat his customers for more than three decades about squeezing packages of Charmin’s “squeezably soft” bathroom tissue, though why this was such a problem for him was never explained. According to a famous 1978 poll, Mr. Whipple – played by character actor Dick Wilson – ranked third among the country’s most recognized faces, just behind recently disgraced president Richard Nixon and evangelist Billy Graham.

4. Mama mia, that’s a spicy meatball! (Alka-Seltzer, 1970) An unnamed commercial actor must utter this line in appreciation of something called Magdalini’s Meatballs. But after 59 takes, the actor’s resulting indigestion grows unbearable and he reaches for the Alka-Seltzer, which “can help unstuff you, relieve the acid indigestion and help make you your old self again.” While the catchphrase for the fictitious Magdalini’s Meatballs is still remembered fondly, Alka-Seltzer wound up going back to the drawing board and coming up with the wildly successful “plop, plop, fizz, fizz.”

5. The one beer to have ... (Schaefer, 1962) "... when you’re having more than one," as the slogan goes. Advertising agency Batten, Barton, Durstine & Osborn came up with this nifty radio jingle for Schaefer in 1961. But unlike a lot of radio jingles, this one made a smooth transition to television in the mid-60s, at one point featuring jazz legend Louis Armstrong. The jingle went jazz-rock fusion in 1973, when composer Edd Kalehoff played it on a Moog synthesizer, but by then Schaefer had lost its market share and eventually sold out to the Stroh’s Brewing Company.

6. Wow! Thanks Mean Joe!

(Coca-Cola, 1979) Another great narrative in television commercial history. This one takes place in the player tunnel during halftime of a particularly close football game. As Pittsburgh Steelers defensive tackle “Mean” Joe Greene limps toward the lockers, a towheaded little boy – having apparently slipped between security guards – offers him a Coke. After a halfhearted refusal, Greene grabs the Coke and quaffs it (somehow managing to keep down what must have been a monstrous belch). Then he tosses his game jersey to the boy, eliciting this delirious response.

7. We will sell no wine before its time.

(Paul Masson, 1979) Cultural critics were disgusted that Orson Welles, one of the great dramatic artists of the 20th century, would lend his larger-than-life presence to push wine that sold for eight bucks a bottle. Still, this catchphrase – uttered at the conclusion of each commercial – caught on big among thirsty Americans. It’s been said that Kelsey Grammar from “Frasier” owes his career to Welles’ one-eyebrow-raised delivery of this plonk-peddling banality.