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Internet dating isn't exactly a science; in the end, finding the right person is about luck as much as anything. Still, following the rules below will help you save time, spot trouble, minimize disappointment and increase your chances of finding Mr. or Ms. Right.

Top 5 Rules for Women

#1: Take the initiative rather than wait for men to e-mail you.
Don't be shy, women: Make the first move. That's because men — bless them — tend to be lazy and/or have poor filters. They'll e-mail practically any woman they consider attractive without first asking themselves, "Do we have anything in common?" When women do the choosing, the odds improve.

#2: Don't lie. About anything. Ever.
If you're 50, don't say you're 49. If you're separated, don't imply you're divorced. Eventually the truth will surface, and fudging can only backfire. This rule also applies to pictures. Choose a current photo that accurately reflects your appearance.

#3: Don't exchange more than five e-mails before either making a date or moving on.
Online chemistry isn't the same as in-person chemistry, so don't engage in extended e-mailing or pour your heart out to someone you've never met. You'll likely set yourself up for a blow. Within a few e-mails, you should have a sense of whether there's the slightest potential.

#4: Go straight from e-mail to a date - without talking on the phone.
Pre-date phone calls are a waste. Even the most engaging conversation may not translate to an in-person spark. Likewise, an awkward conversation tells you nothing, since it's just plain uncomfortable chatting on the phone with a stranger. You may inadvertently eliminate a good match.

#5: Meet for coffee first — no dinners!
If sparks fly, you can always plan a real date. If the meeting is a dud, you'll have only lost 30 minutes and the price of no-whip mocha — and avoided making small talk for two hours with a guy who has the personality of a light switch. Plus, with little at stake, you'll be less jittery than on a dinner date and less likely to feel let down.

Top 5 Rules For Men:

#1 Don't send generic e-mails.
You're not hawking low mortgage rates, so don't spam 50 women with the identical message. Instead of writing "You seem really great!" articulate specific reasons you're interested, like your mutual love of skiing or dogs or Ethiopian food.

#2 Reveal something interesting about yourself in your profile.
Avoid the police-report approach: "I am a single white male, 5'10'', 180 pounds, brown hair, brown eyes. I'm an electrical engineer who grew up in Ohio and moved to Iowa for college." How do you spend your free time? What's important to you?

#3 Don't specify a hair color or — God forbid — a weight limit or breast size that you're seeking in a woman.
You're not shopping for a new stereo, so ax the list of required features. Focus on a woman's personality and interests rather than her cup size.

#4 Do your homework.
Before each date, review the woman's profile and commit a few details to memory. "So how long have you been an ER nurse?" will score you a lot more points than, "So, wait — you're a therapist? No, I remember . . . a realtor!"

#5 Ask questions.
Nothing is more attractive to a woman than inquisitiveness. Instead of extolling your attributes, behave as if you're a TV reporter and your job is to unearth enough information about your date to file a segment on the nightly news. Of course, sharing something about yourself is important, but don't dominate the date.

Suzanne Schlosberg is the author of The Curse of the Singles Table: A True Story of 1001 Nights Without Sex. She met her husband on match.com.