September 03, 2010

Park in Neutral

By Donna Shryer

Contributing Writer

Park_in_Neutral

Stop and take a minute to think before you overreact to the increasing lack of civility on the road.

Road rage is at an all-time high. Let these effective tips help you manage the chronic irritation of a long drive home ...
It's a sweltering 94 degrees as you drive home from work — or at least try to, since traffic is crawling at best. Further testing your patience, the driver on the left just shouted two nasty words out the window, and the driver to the right flipped an index finger your way. Everyone is hot under the collar and the expressway is a bubbling cauldron of road rage.

Road rage is defined as a motorist's over-the-top response to perceived injustices committed by other drivers. This may be news to you, as most Americans mistakenly think the term applies to the aggressive driver who initiates the bad driving experience. In reality, road rage applies to you. It's your reaction to the aggressor.

According to Leon James, PhD, University of Hawaii professor of psychology and coauthor of "Road Rage and Aggressive Driving: Steering Clear of Highway Warfare," responding to aggressive drivers with like behavior is perfectly normal. "Our feelings behind the wheel are conditioned by childhood experiences, while we're riding in the backseat, which I call the road rage nursery. On top of that, we watch thousands of TV programs with actors acting out road rage."

To slay your driving dragon and achieve inner highway harmony, James created a three-step plan. And in summer, it's especially important to calm the mind when facing aggressive drivers. According to a 1999 AAA Foundation for Traffic Safety survey, the majority of road rage incidents occur on hot, sunny days.

Taming the Beast Within
The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) says that the first thing you need to do when confronted by an aggressive driver is get out of their way. "Put your pride in the back seat," NHTSA advises, and do not challenge the other driver by speeding up or standing firm in your lane. Instead, slow down and change lanes. Avoid eye contact and do not return angry gestures. If you feel that matters are racing out of control, use your cell to call 911.

To soothe your emotional reaction to the situation, James, also known as Dr. Driving, created a program called AWM — acknowledge, witness and modify. It's a three-phase loop that everyone should mentally travel through when they get behind the wheel.

Acknowledging is the toughest part, James stresses. "Road rage is our response to an aggressive driver's bad behavior. Because of this, we tend to say, ‘I'm the victim, and I'm not the one who needs to change his behavior.' So, the first step to taking control of stress felt behind the wheel is to admit — acknowledge — that you have the rage. Then you can choose to not express it."

Driving Home the Point
The next step is witnessing your mind and body's reaction to aggressive drivers. James suggests focusing on one pet peeve at a time. As you're on the road, observe your negative emotions and physical reactions when exposed to this situation. What do you do with your car, hands and mouth? "Once you witness your reactions," James says, "you can begin to modify these feelings."

Modifying your reactions, step three, involves interrupting the incredible flow of adrenaline that pulses through the body when an aggressive driver gets in your grill. "You want to distract your mind and inhibit the production of stress." James says. "Some people make funny noises. I make animal noises. My wife sings. These activities interrupt for a few seconds the production of adrenaline and your body's alignment with stress. Now talk to yourself like a civilized friend. ‘I don't want to be this way. I want to be cooperative.' It's a positive self-pep talk."

As for the other guy, the one who initiated this unruly situation, he or she is likely two fries short of a Happy Meal, and reacting is only stoking their fire. You're never going to win against such irrational behavior, but by calming your mind and driving away from the ruckus, you will keep yourself safe ... and eventually get home and into the hot tub.

Want more on how to decompress?

 

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What angers you most on the road?
  • Being "flipped off"
  • Someone following too close
  • Getting screamed at
  • Having someone cut you off
  • Not being "let in" in traffic