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As you've been told before, it's not what you say, but how you say it. And there are few times this is more important than when you're on a date.The key to successful relationships - and fun dates - is communication. However, much of what we say to each other has little to do with the witty, charming words we share over cocktails on a Saturday date night. Most of what we communicate is said through our body language.

Generally speaking, 60 percent of what we convey in a conversation is based on our appearance and body language. Another 30 percent of our message comes through our tone of voice and rate of speech, leaving only about 10 percent of what we communicate to the actual words we speak.

Understanding body language can make all the difference when it comes to getting a second date, or taking your relationship to the next level.

When it comes to body language, there are a few simple things to look out for -- observations you can make to gain insight into your partner's unspoken feelings and strategies you can adopt to make sure you present yourself in the best possible light.

Eye Contact
If a woman spends more time looking at the restaurant's carpeting than at you, she may have wished she made other plans. Conversely, if a man can't keep his roving eyes off the other ladies at the party, he may not be as interested as you think. Good eye contact is one of the best signs of a partner's interest. It conveys that a date is honest, sincere, comfortable and curious to know more about you.

Restlessness
Have you ever dated a fidgety-toe-tapping-leg-bouncer who never seems to get comfortable? The problem might not be that old movie theater chair - it might be you. Restlessness implies dissatisfaction and a struggle to escape one's surroundings, including your evening together.

Guarding and Retreating
A date with little to say and a slouching posture is giving every indication that they would rather disappear than be out with you. At the same time, guarding behavior, like crossing one's arms or indulging in compulsions (nail biting etc.), is also a clear signal that your partner is anything but comfortable. If your date crosses her legs or turns from you just as you've found yourselves alone, chances are it's going to be an early night.

Physical Contact
One of the easiest ways to discern your date's level of interest is through touch. Did he touch your back when he held the door for you? Does she lean in and touch your arm when she tells a story? Someone's willingness to touch - and be touched - can give you definite clues as to their true feelings. It can also give you a tantalizing glimpse into their affectionate and sexual side.

Tone of Voice and Rate of Speech
The way we say our words carries much more weight than the words themselves. Speaking loudly, at a high pitch and velocity, implies the "D" word: desperation. A woman who talks a mile a minute or a little too loudly tells a man she is needy and starved for attention. A man who talks a blue streak nearing the soprano range never conveys confidence. Calm, relaxed, resonant voices are reassuring and imply depth of emotion, not just mental racket. Work on this part of your repertoire, and you may become downright hypnotic.

Of course, there are no quick fixes in the dating realm. Your quiet date may be having the time of his life but is just shy. Your guarded girlfriend may be head-over-heels for you but doubts your feelings and is trying to protect herself. Understanding body language isn't a cure-all for misunderstood lovers, but it can be an early warning system, allowing you to nip problems in the bud and leading to greater communication and intimacy.

Mastering these skills can also give you a better chance at making the most of your assets. Everyone knows that a beautiful woman is a woman who is comfortable in her own skin. And nothing gets the ladies talking like a gent with a warm voice, a straight back and a sure smile.