ReZoom

Kids today. They make up, break up and take up with each other all wirelessly. They're constantly text messaging sweet nothings. Is that what a newly single ReZoomer has to look forward to? Constant communication without talking? Whatever happened to the whisper? The first date? The thank you call?

While the game of dating hasn’t changed, some of the rules have. But not as much as you think. (And don’t worry, we tackle online dating and meeting people on the Internet elsewhere.) For now, here’s a rundown of up-to-the-minute dating basics to get you back on the market.

1. Asking Men are shy, women are traditional. But at this point in your life, why wait for something you want? Ask away ... or hint. This goes for women, too. Start small like a cup of coffee or lunch. Let him do the dinner-asking. If you’re an independent, strong woman, act that way from the very start. Any man will dig it. If you’re not independent, then say so up-front so he gets the point and takes the initiative. Just like back in eighth grade when your friend told his friend you liked him, guys love hints almost as much as they hate being shot down.

2. What to Do Whomever asks for the date should decide what to do and where to go. If that means ordering the molten chocolate or Baked Alaska in advance, then do it. Wishy-washy plans or calls two hours before the date asking, “Is Thai food too hot for you?” make for terrible dates, even when you’ve been seeing each other for five weeks. Make the plans and stick to them. Go traditional on the first date and, judging by their personality, get a little creative with the second.

3. Paying Still the man, at least for the first date. But by date three or four, he should at least know the color of her wallet. If he says no and pays, fine. If he lets her pay, fine. Guys get tired of paying all the time, and they don’t want the precedent of always paying for everything. The man will cover most of the meals, but he loves a little financial aid from time to time. Unless of course he's a billionaire: Then he should pay all the time (and buy fur coats and five-figure watches instead of flowers, of course).

4. The First Kiss When it feels right, do it. People who expect a kiss at the end of a first date are creating way too much pressure. It’s just a date. That’s all. Do what comes naturally, from nothing at all to a sleepover. If it feels right or wrong, you'll both know it. The rule here, then, is that there are no rules. But don’t be mad if you don’t get what you want without having asked for it. Start off with honest communication and don’t change anything.

5. Timing Or, what if I want to wait for a long time? "So what?" to both. You’re both adults. (Right?) And you’re consenting. You can handle sleeping together; and if you like each other and establish a friendship, you can handle waiting. After all, if one of you is just looking for sex, that’s not so hard to find. Meaningful sex and relationships, that’s different. No matter what anyone says, that’s why people date in the first place. Be mature. Talk about these issues. And remember, the issues themselves don’t matter as much as a willingness to work them out.

6. Calling What if I ask again and they don’t call back? Simple, and you’ve heard this before: “They weren’t that into you.” They met someone else, or it wasn’t a love match. Don’t sweat it. There will be others. Plenty. Never sweat it. Why? Because it was just a date ... just a few hours of your life with someone who might become a friend, lover or business associate, or someone who might not. Either way, what’s a few hours to find out? Nothing.

7. Sex So you have to have sex on the third date? No. Your sexual attitudes probably haven’t changed since you were 23. The way you were when you first started dating (or there around) should be how you are now. Do what makes you feel good about yourself, not what you think makes them feel good about themselves. That comes later. Much later.