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Finance expert Mary Claire Allvine explains her concept of the Family CFO, and why a discussion of family finances could be aphrodisiac. Seriously …Mary Claire Allvine, C.F.P., is an extremely busy woman. As a principal with the prestigious financial advisory firm of Brownson, Rehmus & Foxworth, she divides her professional time between Chicago and Atlanta. And as the co-author of two hugely successful personal finance books, "The Family CFO: The Couple's Business Plan for Love and Money" and "The 7 Most Important Money Decisions You'll Ever Make," she has hosted money management seminars all over the country. (If her name looks familiar, chances are you've seen her quoted in the "Wall Street Journal" or "Forbes.")

And yet, despite this whirlwind of activity, Allvine sat down with us to talk about the concept of the "Family CFO" and how it might apply to the boomer generation.

1. Much of the message of your work is about introducing romance to family finance. Could you talk a little bit about this? At first glance, the two concepts – romance and finance – seem so different as to contradict one another.

Many couples' financial problems stem from the idea that they see romance and finance at odds with one another. In reality, when we interviewed couples for our book "The Family CFO," we found that financially successful couples – meaning those who were achieving their financial goals of getting out of debt, buying their own homes, changing jobs, et cetera– very much put romance into finance.

These successful couples, it turns out, stay very focused on the goals and dreams that brought them together. They then use their money as a tool to get to those goals, making money something they apply together, not something that drives them apart. These are the couples who are ready when they get a raise: they jointly know, "Hey, fabulous! That's $75 more a month to the 401k and $50 extra for a dinner out once a month!" Money expresses how well they work together and how much their values stay in synch. That's romantic.

2. Talk about the "Family CFO" concept. Should family finances really be addressed in the same way as corporate finances?

Corporations do a great job of focusing on why they're in business, then dividing up jobs so that, while every employee does something different, they're all working toward that same "mission statement." Couples and families can apply these same ideas. In fact, division of labor while having agreement on overall strategy is a consistent factor I find across those successful couples. Those are the couples who really do buy their own homes, change jobs, go back to school, get out of debt, and retire someday!

3. There appear to be two kinds of financial experts right now: those who say the baby boomers are about to enjoy the greatest transfer of wealth in history and those who believe the boomers will bankrupt social security and create catastrophic debt for future generations. Where do you stand on this issue?

As a financial planner, I try to encourage couples to think about their own personal situations, not big demographic trends. Your examples perfectly capture the frustration couples can encounter by trying to understand how everyone else is doing. In the end, it doesn't matter if "baby boomers" as a group will receive significant assets if you won't be inheriting anything. Only your own situation is relevant.

That said, I am encouraging anyone under 45 to plan for a retirement without Social Security. If Social Security continues to exist, it will need either massive funding or reduced outlays.

4. What emergency-style measures would you recommend for those parents who are looking to pay for their son's or daughter's college education?

The benefit of an emergency is that you can quickly see what is necessary and what is optional. In this case, it might be time to explain that education is the best investment anyone ever makes, and the kids themselves should be prepared to borrow to finance their education. A good job allows a graduate to pay back that debt quickly. It's painful, but even the best parents will admit that making themselves financially vulnerable does not help their child in the long run. Sometimes they must acknowledge that maintaining their own lifestyle and funding their own retirement doesn't leave room for college tuition.

For parents who don't think they need to make that trade-off, then I assume the "emergency" is some sort of short-term cash-flow problem. In that case, home equity lines and even well-researched, low-cost credit cards can carry you over a couple of terms.

5. How do you see boomers facing the prospect of retirement? Many are saying that, because of their "sandwich" status (having to take care of both their aging parents and their children), they will have to continue working, in some capacity, past age 65. Do you foresee a resulting shift in the concept of retirement?

A gold watch retirement does seem unrealistic for most people. Just the basic math makes the concept impossible, regardless of "sandwiching." How can anyone work for 30 years and save enough money to live another 30 years? Assuming terrific investment returns, you'd still have to be saving 30% of your income every year. Some combination of working longer or phasing down but not quitting work will make sense for most people.

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